$2.95

Death by browsing. I don't like to use the word 'shopping'. It makes me feel like........I just don't like it. Most of my version of shopping involves looking and changing my mind. It was such a wonderful day today. sunny. breezy. clean. We went to two of the greatest places on the planet. anthropologie. anthro. where i purchased a lovely little aged herb pot. but i don't need any herbs. so it will probably have a candle in it soon. I also found a knob (for the tassel i will be making soon) for $2.95. yes.

then we went to pottery barn where we bought one of my sisters many a thing for her new house with the gift card from our other wonderful sister. Now i am not an empty woman who only finds joy from these places. I don't. But if someone wanted to give me a million dollars to spend there in any way necessary, I would definitely not complain. But its not what's most important, let's make that clear. It just excites me to the core.

and then.

I ordered this.

The first, and probably last, dress I bought from the best store ever. It's going to be a bridesmaid dress for jaime and grant's wedding this summer! That's what happened today. And now some one-on-one time with mom before I have to go back to school.

Peace.

tatertots and jello

ugh. how cute are these! it's been a mysterious blog post that i haven't been able to find for some time now but, guess what. found it. Let's also understand that I will definitely be attempting to make one of these very soon.

{image via tatertots&jello}

tatertots & jello has some of the neatest little craftiness going on over on her blog...go on. take a peek.

college

I love it. I cherish it. And I fully enjoy it. Sure there are plenty of things I will enjoy not having (homework, tests, parking tickets, etc.), but there are plenty that I will miss. Like taking the time to not do my homework and post on my blog. Deciding at 11p.m. that I really want some sweet tea and do it without needing to explain why. Being roommates with people who are all so different from one another yet get along so well. Having dear friends so far away and scarcely seeing one another and can pick up right where you left off. Talking with sweet, amazing girlfriends about life, struggles, relationships, and the dynamics of how each intermingle with one another. The realization that you spent the past 3 and a half years figuring out what major to study and not so much what you will do with it when you're done. The realization that you have less than 2 months left of your college career and have not one solid plan of what to do with your life.

I spent the past two days with some good long time friends in waco. And not too much beats that (besides sisters). We got to enjoy some good shopping (not buying), some coffee, a lot of food, a nap, and some strong reminders of why we are friends. Thanks guys. It reminds me really just how much I need to really enjoy these last two months of being in college. and with my dear friends in the wonderful town of lubbock.

So, I vow to not let myself get too upset about things for the next two months and be preparing for the warm weather that I have been waiting for, for such a long time!

fearfully and wonderfully made

You know, God knows just how to find me. How to remind me of His deep love for me. His plans for me that He has prepared in advance. How, despite my opinion, makes me fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 139).

Everyone, there are 68 full days left of college. That's it. To say I am re-living my the emotional rollercoaster of highschool graduation is an understatement. This time its a different transition and its full of confusion, a yearning for direction, heartache, and chest pains. Indigestion, if you will.

But this weekend I was reminded of a few things. That I am delighted in and loved deeply (Zephaniah 3:17). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). Chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16). Yes. And guess what. YOU are delighted in and loved to the deepest extent. YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made. YOU are 'all beautiful'. And YOU were chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit. I can be reminded and comforted in this but most of the time it's really hard to actually believe it. But I guess if the creator of the universe claims it as truth, then it must be something worthy to believe.

There are alot of hurts, alot of shattered hearts, needs for healing in more ways than one coming from women all around me. including myself. And my hope is that I will naturally fall to my knees in need for my Creator, my Healer, my Father to scoop me up with a firm embrace and remind me of those truths. Won't you join me?

I know its hard. I know its hard to be vulnerable. And to not place healing and comfort in other things or people. I had the priviledge to sing this song with about 50 other girls and if it doesn't spur you on to believe and trust, then let's talk. Please take one minute to read these words below. And when you do, read it like its a statement of truth. Something you believe in or want to believe in.

Healer

You hold my every moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

You heal all my disease

I trust in You, I trust in You

I believe You're my healer

I believe You are all I need

I believe

And I believe You're my portion

I believe You're more than enough for me

Jesus you're all I need

You hold my very moment

You calm my raging seas

You walk with me through fire

and heal all my disease

I trust in You, Lord I trust in You

I believe You're my healer

I believe You are all I need

Oh, I believe

Nothing is impossible for You

Nothing is impossible

Nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

five-year-olds

So I learned something new about blogging. Apparently when you save a draft and then post it later, it puts the date in which you first wrote it. hm. interesting.

Anyways, I sit here now, multi-tasking. While I am writing I am also soaking my feet. I have neglected my feet for too long.

I 'nanny' a couple of children everyday after school. I noticed today, that there is a certain smell in an elementary school. And every school seems to have the same general scent. Its not bad. Its just elementary-ish. Maybe its a mix of manilla paper, elmer's glue, chocolate milk, class pets, and little children. Just another one of my many perplexing thoughts.

I have the privilege of spending time with a five-year-old every week day. It is a blast and a half. Most of the time. Let's just remember that I do not have children yet. And I certainly do not spend much time around five-year-olds. If you ever need an honest opinion, ask one of them. They straight up speak, no announce, every thought.

here is a little slice of what I hear everyday:

-after face planting in the bike racks, the first day I picked her up mind you. she puts ice on her face and keeps asking, "is the purple off yet?"

-in the car on the way home "oh those policemen look go-oo-oooood. they're hot babes.'

-me: 'what do you want to be when you grow up'
-her: 'well, when i'm 11, I want to be a cheerleader, then when i'm 16, a singer. And then when I'm 21 a mom.'
-me: 'how many kids do you want to have when you're a mom'
-her: 'um. 4 or 5. You know, you can't have more than six kids.'
-me: 'why not'
-her: 'i don't know. you just can't. you can have 5 or 4 or 3 or 2 or 1 or 0 though.'

-after meeting my dad "your dad doesn't have those things on his face." "what things...wrinkles?" "yeeahh. wrinkles."

There are so many more things its just too late for me to remember. I hope that gave you a peek into what conversations I enjoy everyday. its great.

On top of all of the humor that comes from being this age and so honest, I wish that I could have an ounce of the pure joy, excitment, and trust that this little young lady has all the time. And the energy.

surprise birthday weekend

This past weekend was one of the few that I had no obligations to. It was also conveniently the same weekend of my mom's birthday. Seeing as how I have missed every family birthday for probably the past two years, I decided to go home for a visit. Not just any visit, but a secret visit.

Let me stop right here and state the following: I have never completed a successful surprise. ever.

My wonderful sister picked me up from the airport last thursday and took me to the house. Mom was not expecting company. Let's just say that it was a success along with a minor heart palpitation. The following day we had lunch with me, mom, one of my sisters and a large table of sweet women who surprised her. (Allow me to preface that she was supposed to attend a bible study that morning. Since I was in town she decided not to go and half of the women there were her apart of that bible study group) So her initial reaction when her and I walked in was not noticing the balloons and daughter standing up with her camera, or the haven't-seen-in-a-long-time friends, but just the women from her bible study with the need to go explain why she wasn't at tere that morning. She said, 'Oh, I need to go say hi to these ladies. Do you know who they are?' Then came the grin that I'd been holding in for a very long time, 'yes mom, they're here for you.'

Heart beat completely stops.

The next hour or so was a great time with a lot of laughing and good conversation. Thanks to my sister, the lunch was another successful surprise. The next day was her actual birthday. We just spent the day together (with my dad as well) doing this and that around town. Dad made a wonderful meal for us ladies, even though I was supposed to help make it and kind of left to skype with my nieces and sister. oops. It was a very eventful, needed, and enjoyable weekend.

There are not enough hours in the day to explain how beyond wonderful my mom is. She is brave. She is heartfelt. She is lively, genuine, kind-hearted, energetic, completely selfless, strong, courageous, unconditionally loving, encouraging, and reassuring. She is that kind of person who random people make conversation with all the time and for no apparent reason. She is that kind of person who will put absolutely every single person before herself. She loves her husband. She loves her daughters. And she loves her granddaughters. She is always right about everything (even though I don't want to admit it). She always seems to know what to do or say. She is absolutely everything you could hope for in a mom. And she smells so good. She has been through a lot and with each one of her three daughters. Somehow she still loves us.

And I bet you anything thatas she reads this she'll be shaking her head, saying out loud 'oh my goodness. no..... no, no loren. I am not'. Yes you are. And I know you pretty well, don't I.

All this to say, I spent a couple of days making her such a cute card for her birthday and forgot to give it to her all weekend. I found it right where I had put it safely in my bag.

It was a weekend full of surprises and heart palpitations. I hope you enjoyed it, mom. I love you.