Thursday, March 22, 2012

Surgery Today.

Tonight I write an unexpected post. I had my post-op appointment yesterday in Baltimore at Johns-Hopkins and came to the appointment with little expectations. From a long appointment, I've been given the quick opportunity (because of a cancellation) to have another eye muscle surgery tomorrow. Actually seeing as how I'm writing past midnight it would technically be considered today (Thursday).

Allow me to explain what happened:

The movement and abilities of my eyes have changed dramatically each time I've had surgery. And with that comes new difficulties and inabilities. From this most recent surgery, I went from having about 10% single vision to having about 15%, with the rest of it being double vision. I still am unable to drive, look at anything below me, walk very safely, and read, etc. They had slightly improved my upward gaze, while also causing to worsen my downward gaze severely.

I came to this appointment not having much of an expectation for it. My surgeon (Dr. Guyton) is the best in the world in this field and so kind. It takes months to get an appointment with him and sometimes even longer to get a surgery scheduled.  But in scheduling for my three surgeries with him, two of them were scheduled within a week of my appointment because of cancellations that came hours before my appointment.  Other doctors come from around the world to shadow and learn from him. So while four extra people were staring into my eyes and examining them yesterday, my mom and I were separately praying that God would grant Dr. Guyton a great deal of understanding, clarity and wisdom of what to do about this. God provided exactly that.  After much consideration and discussion, Dr. Guyton feels that it is in my best interest to have two separate surgeries because if you do too many procedures to the eye at one time it can affect the blood supply and cause blindness. So in an effort of caution, he will do two surgeries, with a possible third. This first surgery will happen tomorrow (Thursday March 22nd) and the second will happen in 6-8 weeks. So we are now staying here until Saturday and then flying back to Dallas.

While life has been really different this semester (I've taken a leave of absence for this semester from working on my Master's degree at Dallas Theological Seminary), I most certainly wasn't expecting this. And while the option of having surgery so soon took my breath away, I couldn't think of any reason why not to. With anything this life changing, it brings a sense of anxiety or wonder. But I just keep thinking, "Let's just do this". I really have a calmness and a peace in my spirit about it all.  I figured that God knows exactly what He's doing, just like the last 4 surgeries.  No matter what the outcome, my prayer is that His will be done because I know that is the best place I can be, in the center of His will for my life. Thank you so much to everyone who has been so kind to pray over me and what God's doing. I appreciate that more than anything else.

My brain has officially stopped working so I hope this is enough of an update. As soon as I can see well enough, I will post something again for sure. I'm not exactly sure what everything will look like after tomorrow, but I have no reason to worry. I have a God who loves me and is far bigger than any difficult situation.

"I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure"
-Psalm 16:8-9 

1 comment:

Michaela said...

Praying for you, Loren! I always remember you being so nice to me when I had to wear my eye patch when I was little. I hope everything went well!